me unemployed: tch…. capitalism…

me employed: i been gettin munny where tf u been

(via twerkteaminternational)


Canada, we seem nice, but we’re hella into anal

(via twerkteaminternational)


My mom thought we would need a hammer to get this pole into the ground but I just pushed it in and I almost said “psh, hammer my asshole” but then I realized

(via twerkteaminternational)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
can bob the builder fix my ripped asshole
derpsdale derpsdale Said:


So I follow my aunties on pintrest for like sharing recipes and stuff but today one of them posted this gif:


and they’re all commenting like “the perfect man” and “what all women want ;)” and stuff like that

And I’m over here laughing my ass off because that’s gay porn star, Austin Wolf. This gif is from a gay porno. Like, literally 5 seconds after this moment, he has a cock in his mouth.

(via zachcpatton)


Remember when The Avengers was new?

Remember how exciting it was to finally have some of our favorite superheroes interacting in one movie?

Remember getting chills during this scene?


Remember feeling like a superhero when the screen went black and the credit music came on?

Please never forget how special The Avengers is. 

(via ivebeenjake)



these are the stories I want in my feed

no one better to choose from to put huge amounts of drugs up their butt than a gay porn star am i right

(via zachcpatton)


If you close your eyes right before Mrs. George’s new boobs hit, your brain will think that you have died. Some people find calmness in this.

(via darincliffordfalkjr)